9 July 2019

A Rant About Mashed Potatoes

Stop getting mash wrong!


Last time I was in town, my lovely wife took me to a delightful little restaurant in Soho. Not only was this a welcome break from the utter nightmare of shoe shopping on Oxford Street, but it was especially welcome because the restaurant specialised in one of the all-time classics – bangers and mash.

This is one of my most favourite of all the British classics. It’s never over estimated, it’s humble, and I’ve never met a person who doesn’t like it.

However, I am very particular about current standards, and I don’t always agree with them.

The current standard for cuisine mash is somewhat similar to baby food; an almost sloppy, runny consistancy.

This upsets me so much…

Call me weird, but I quite like the lumpy bits.

Mash should not wobble like jelly

Let me inspire you. The lumps in mashed potato indicate that a person has physically and literally gone to great effort, maybe even broke into a sweat, trying to pulverise your pototoes to your liking. This shows willing to please.

But, when I receive a plate of riced, pureed, blended mash this upsets me. It says “we own a potato ricer, we are so savvy with modern contemporary kitchen equipment, it is from France” and “just eat, pay, and leave”.

I ask you, where is the love?

Stop taking mash for granted, leave the lumps in and do some manual labor for a change!